Fatherless Child

fatherless

No one knows this but while growing up I would always wonder, “If I died would you cry?””
I would always think about how we have no memories together..
Or about if we were to pass each other on the street, would you know who I am or vice versa..
But one thing that never crossed my mind was, “If you died would I cry?”
Would I hurt because we don’t have any memories together or because I wouldn’t recognize you walking down the street?
The thing that hurts the most isn’t that I had to find out that answer but it’s…
that I had to find out that answer at the mere age of 20
that I had to find out that answer before truly getting to know you
that I had to find out that answer before you got to know me
that I had to find out that answer before seeing you again
and most importantly, the thing that hurts more than anything is that when I close my eyes and try to visualize your face, all I see is darkness…
So the answer to the question, “If you died would I cry” is yes!
It’s yes, because I’ve cried everyday since receiving that devastating call
yes, because I haven’t seen you in over 14 years
yes, because I don’t know who Micheal Winston truly is and now I will never be able to…
The one sentence that helps me through this hard time, that continuously repeats through my mind in my mother’s voice is, “To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.”
That scripture gives me peace. Knowing that you’ve made it home and that your in a better place truly helps. So yes, I am sad that you are gone but I know that your with the Father now and that your at peace. Congratulations!
R.I.P. to my father, Micheal Andrew Winston

father-to-the-fatherless

 

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