How to be a Friend in a One-Sided Friendship

one sided

When involved in what seems to be a one-sided friendship, our only advice to you is GUARD YOUR HEART!

Guard your heart is explained as being careful with your feelings and emotions. You have to truly know AND understand the people that you’re surrounded by. When dealing with friendships, especially those that seem to be one-sided, you have to see people for who they are and deal with them accordingly.

I have a friend that we’ll call Mary. I know the type of person and friend Mary is and has become over the years. So when it comes to certain things that occur in my life, I guard my heart. I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles when it comes to dealing with her and I am selective with what I share pertaining to my life. I choose to not let her words nor demeanor determine my actions. Is it always easy? No, because we’re still human and have flesh. Flesh that we have to kill daily – have control over your feelings and emotions.

If God has told you to be someone’s friend, then do just that…be their friend! Guard your heart means to seek God first. To go to Him before dealing with that friend. In guarding your heart, you have to pray and read the Bible  so that you are spiritually strong when you may be naturally weak and tired of dealing with the people God has placed in our lives. He’s not calling you to be stressed and hurt. But to spread love through your hurt feelings and remain patient while He does His work.

“You may be the only Bible people read.” Sometimes God places people in our life so that we can learn how to love unconditionally, despite what they do to us and so that we can learn to love people no matter what. It’s through our love (the actions) that people feel Christ. If He told you to be their friend, do just that. He didn’t say that they would also be yours. There’s a difference. Some people don’t know how to be a friend and once you understand that, you’re feelings won’t be as hurt.

I have another friend that we’ll call Heather. Heather used to hurt my feelings SO much. God literally had to get me together when I wanted to let go of the friendship and He told me to love her anyway.. To be her friend anyway.. To stop looking for friendship in return because the place that’s she’s in right now in her life, she can’t be that friend.

God gives us people to pour into and gives people to pour into us. So when you feel like someone is draining you, Go to God for refreshment. He’ll send the exact people to pour into you. When you feel tired, rest in the promises of His word. Well with Heather, I keep my distance (guard my heart) while making myself available whenever she needs me or I feel lead to reach out. Heather would ignore my calls and/or text messages but would call and/or text me when she needed something. That used to really hurt my feelings but now I understand that’s just who she is. So when I text, if she responds good, but if she doesn’t that’s okay too. When she calls or texts me, we speak as if no time has elapsed. Why? Because I don’t take anything she does personal. I know that I’m called to pour into her. So now that I know my role, I can play it well. It’s not always easy and sometimes I want to cut her off but it has gotten easier over time. My feelings rarely become hurt. Although I know that I can’t go to her with stuff or in times of need, I understand that’s why God has placed other friends in my life that I can go to. But through it all, no matter how she treats me, Heather knows that if she needs me, I’m here and that’s the greatest blessing of all.

Sometimes we have to reflect on our one-sided friendships. As in any relationship, things changes. Looking back on me and Heather’s friendship,  there was a point in time that she was more of a friend to me than I was to her.

If you’re truly a friend, then you will still be that friend even in the rough times.

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