Holiday Commitment – Is it time to meet the family?


With Thankgiving, Christimas, and Hannakuah around the corner, I think now is best time to address the elephant in the room— your new bf/gf/significant other. Holidays are great for getting together with the family, but dinners can get awkward quick with a new addition to the mix.

Only introduce your significant other to your family if you’re sure that they will be part of your life for a long time. Imagine photos for years to come and relentless teasing about the person you brought to dinner and only dated for five minutes. Rushing a relationship isn’t worth it. The upcoming holiday a new couple should look forward to is New Years, especially because you get to celebrate your relationship with a midnight kiss. Below is the order of holidays a couple should start to celebrate together based on the growing strength of their relationship.

New relationship (1 to 6 months) —slow budding, know enough to show affection → New Years

Semi-new relationship (3 to 6 months) —know dislikes and likes, enough to pick restaurant and candy they like, no need to say I love you, the day is romantic enough→ Valentines Day

Not so new relationship (6 to 8 months) —You could celebrate with friends, but choose to celebrate with each other. It’s time to buy matching costumes or at least coordinate, this could be the first decision you make as a couple. →Halloween

Normal Relationship (8 months to a year)—By now this person is part of your daily life. Mom and Dad should have heard about them when talking to you on the phone, maybe they even asked you to pass it to them so they could say hi. Dinner with the family won’t be easy, but at least they’ll be distracted by food.  →Thanksgiving

Long Term Relationship (1 year or older) — You’ve taken time to get to this point, so it deserves to be commemorated. Finally you know enough about the person you’re with to pick a meaningful gift, which doesn’t mean expensive. There have probably been a few items that you’ve spotted in the last few months that reminded you of them. Pony up some cash and make it official. Now that your parents know them too maybe they can offer up some ideas. —> Christmas/Hanukah

If you start a relationship between any of these holidays, tread lightly about the issue. Don’t be afraid to throw the idea about your pre-made plans out there, but be aware about how your bf/gf feels, they might feel left out. If that is the case then say something like ,”I would love to hang out with you on ___(holiday)________, but I’ve made plans for ____(fam trip?). Could we hang out on ___(set a date)__ and celebrate together? I can’t wait to see you when I get back.”

Dialogue like this will make your partner feel special and part of your life, even if you can’t incorporate them into every aspect of it write away. Remember that this holiday season is about giving and showing people you care.

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