Balancing Expectations with Reality

Whenever you’re low there should be at least one person you can call to vent. You might call that person your BFF. I’ve learned that placing a lot of weight on one person emotionally can be counteractive to a friendship. It might seem strange to say that opening up to your friend can be bad for the friendship, but it can be depending on who that person is. If you open up and feel like you’re not heard, you might feel worse off than before. Feeling unheard or like your not getting thoughtful advice from your friend might make you question the value of your friendship.

In reality, your BFF may not be sentimental person or maybe s/he’s not good with certain subjects. Before you get deep with her or him, gauge their responses to certain topics and issues. Are they the kind of person who cuts people off when they’re talking? Does s/he only half-listen to things? Or maybe s/he’s filled with drama and will instigate fights instead of rationally analyzing things with you. The truth is each person in your life has a unique purpose. Your BFF’s purpose may not be to play your therapist.

Some friends are good for telling jokes, shopping, traveling, watching movies, or confiding in. One person can’t be everything to you so don’t expect them to be. The person you choose to share all your secrets with may not be the person you hang out with the most often. Appreciate all your friends for the ways they support you.

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