Almost every media source will tell you woman are too picky, but in reality some women aren’t picky enough. First, I have to say that having exact height, shoe size, and salary requirements are limiting and superficial. With that said, it’s understandable to ask for qualities in a partner that make you feel secure in the relationship. The guy you dream up and the guy you meet may not physically look the same, but you’ll recognize him by his character. Here are a couple points to guide you in forming a reasonable list of desires:
- How do you want this person to make you feel?
At the stop of your list should be happy. If a guy doesn’t have the ability to make you happy then forget him. Feeling comfortable around a guy from the initial stages can fuel attraction. You should want to spend time with him outside of the bar, club, coffee shop or wherever you met him. He shouldn’t be a guy that pressures you and conversation should be awkward. Pay attention to the way he talks; it shouldn’t be cocky or rude. Try to notice if he looks into your eyes.
- Are there things about this guy that could threaten you or what you’re trying to build?
It’s almost impossible to end up with a saint, but that doesn’t mean you should be with just anyone. Keep your eyes open for a god-fearing person or at least someone who is humble and lives by a set of morals. A guy who believes in a higher power will try to hold himself accountable for his actions. If he falls, then believe he will be working through his issues. Make sure a guy is focused and he’s the type to treat your budding relationship with respect; you can spot a player across the bar. Also guys who wait long to text you to set a date up are usually flakey so avoid them. Sneaky is not a good quality. Be honest to yourself about his boyfriend potential. Few men are exceptional liars, do yourself a favor and weed out the bad seeds before it goes any further. A guy who is self-less and attentive probably won’t do anything to jeopardize your relationship since he doesn’t want to see you hurt. With a self-less guy your mind won’t only be at ease about cheating, but also about your personal safety. Truly kind men don’t raise their hands to hit.
On another note, financial security is important. No one wants to lose a house because they have a reckless partner. Though money isn’t everything, a guy who doesn’t value his money at all will spend his and yours too. Some guys in debt can make good partners as long as they are goal-oriented, thoughtful, and motivated. If a man possesses these aforementioned qualities, he won’t drag you into debt and will work on getting himself out of debt because he sees a future for you and himself.
- What should he value?
What a man likes makes him unique. In this area, qualities of the man you want can be subjective, but think of things that you’d want to share with him in this regard. Great qualities include: health-conscious, family-oriented, and driven (it could be by passion or his career). Outside of those three characteristics you might want someone who’s a homebody or adventurous; it really depends on your personality. Just make sure his core values are in line with yours so that you don’t clash or lose yourself.