Feelings vs Committment

Love is something often misunderstood.

I’d like to begin with defining love before we go into how to give and receive it. Often times, we understand love to be a feeling but LOVE IS NOT A FEELING! Please re-program your brain to understand that reality. Yes, love often involves or is initiated by feelings but it is not a feeling. Love in its simplest form is, “being firmly committed to another in achieving their potential.” Deep huh?

Love is about commitment not feelings. A commitment is a promise to do what is best for the opposite party regardless of your feelings towards it. At times your feelings may go in conjunction with your commitment; however, it is when they begin to contradict each other that most relationships begin to fail. A person in a committed relationship realizes the good and the bad of that promise made yet sticks by it. Those in a relationship based off of feelings have only realized the good of that promise and begin to waver when the bad is called to their attention.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the divorce rate of first marriage is around 50 percent; second marriages are at 60 to 67 percent and third marriages are at 73 to 74 percent. These statistics suggest that a person can be in three different marriages, yet until they understand that love is not all about feelings but is about commitment to the other person, it will end in divorce.

We must get out of that selfish mentality that says, “If things don’t go my way or if I don’t like how things FELL then I’m gone,” and press towards loving on those around us. Have you made any sacrifices to show your brother or sister your love for them? Are you still blaming your parents for not being exactly what you think they should have been? Have you been in constant failing or unrewarding relationships? If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, it is time to mature and realize that feelings are temporary but love is a commitment.

Forgive those who have not given you the love you deserve and instead give that love to someone else; whether you FEEL they deserve it or not. I’ve broken this subject down as much as possible. Now, YOU CHOOSE if you want all of your relationships to be based off of your feelings or the promise of commitment.

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